


you just wanna hold me (can’t you see you’re holding me down?)

by artificialheaart



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Divorce, Eddie Kaspbrak Gets Divorced, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Obligatory divorce fic, Other, Short, fuck you myra kaspbrak had no idea she was feeding into eddie’s trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29875365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialheaart/pseuds/artificialheaart
Summary: literally just Eddie gets divorced
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Myra Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 11





	you just wanna hold me (can’t you see you’re holding me down?)

**Author's Note:**

> was sick of the fandom equating myra to being exactly like Sonia when 1. myra had no idea she was feeding into eddie’s trauma she was literally just being a nurse and 2. at worst myra was a little manipulative and annoying lol

The Losers had this collective image of Myra, one of a tyrant in Eddie’s life, controlling his every move. This was partially true, but there’s more to it. So, when the Losers asked him if he was going to ask for a divorce fresh out of the coma, he shook his head. The Losers tilted their heads, offered each of their places in case he changed his mind, but didn’t press the matter.

Eddie took a breath as he fiddled with Manila envelope in his hands. He knocked on the door to Myra’s room (they’d stopped sleeping in the same room a while ago). “Myra? Can we talk?”

Myra opened the door fully, cocking an eyebrow. Her eyes fell on the envelope, quite obviously, but she didn’t say anything about that. “Yeah. Come in.”

Eddie took a seat on the Ottoman across from Myra’s bed, Myra moved to sit on her bed.

“So uh- Remember how I couldn’t remember my childhood?”

Myra nodded.

“Right, so apparently, being in a coma does things to your brain, and I remembered,” not the full truth, but he’s not gonna tell her about clown shit, “And uhm- I’ve come to a few disturbing realizations.”

“That’s to be expected, usually memories are blocked out for a reason.”

Eddie nodded, “Yeah. The thing is, my mom..” he stuttered over the word, like it was something dirty, something that shouldn’t be uttered out of court cases and files, “she abused me. Uhm- and this ties in because- she- convinced me I had all these illnesses and allergies, and the fact is it’s all just- in my head. The asthma is probably just panic attacks, I don’t even have half the allergies... I just-... yeah.”

Myra stayed silent.

Eddie sighed, dropping his head briefly before continuing, “And she insisted I needed to be taken care of, to be protected. And I’m sitting and analyzing our relationship and I’m realizing it was just- a coping mechanism for younger me for being suddenly removed from the abuse. You didn’t know, you didn’t mean to, you thought you were taking care of someone with physical problems rather than mental ones. And you’d be great for someone who needs that care, because you need someone to care for. The problem is that I need to take.. less care of myself to heal.”

Myra pursed her lips, processing this. “I see. And, you’re coming to me because you think this is call for divorce.”

Eddie nodded, “There was no real love from me, and I know how shitty that is, we spent ten years thinking we could make this work, that it was just a communication thing, and then it turns out I’m just.. my brand of fucked up and your brand just don’t mesh well. I.. I didn’t- don’t love you, not in the way you want me to, and- and I’m sorry.”

Myra’s shoulders slumped a little, “How’d you figure it out?”

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck, “Back in Maine, I-... Richie, you remember him from the hospital?”

Myra’s lip quirked up in a dry sort of smile, “God, him? I expected it to be that Mike fella.”

Eddie laughed a little, just as dry, “Yeah. They’re all old, old friends from when I was young and- and I saw Richie after all this time and it was just... oh god, I love him.”

“I don’t doubt the rest of your story, but that part sounds like a midlife crisis,” Myra shrugged.

“Could be. Being in a coma and realizing you’re gay is a pretty quick way to start one of those.”

Myra sighed a little, finally taking the Manila folder from him, “I’ll.. get a lawyer, too, I guess. Where are you gonna go?”

Eddie shrugged, “Stan and Patty offered me a place to stay, as did Bill and Audra. Might try my luck and ask Richie.”

“Promise me you won’t get yourself too hurt out there?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, “I won’t. Maybe we could still be friends after all this.”

“Maybe.”

After a few minor conversations, (Eddie not being able to find his good comb, Myra giving him a script to come off the medications so he doesn’t get withdrawal), Eddie grabbed his suitcase, bid his fair wells.

In his car, he dialed Richie’s number. “Hey, uh- Rich? I did it.”

**Author's Note:**

> artificialheaart on tumblr


End file.
